Suddenly after a few years of abject misery, depression and paralysis, I stumbled upon an explanation of human behaviour which finally explained what had been going on. But this growing realisation of the explanation, the nature of it, was almost as depressing as my previous ignorance and fear. Because it was a realisation about the real nature of people’s motives. I began to see people’s behaviour in terms of power both attributed and actual, personal and public. Then as I came upon new situations, new people, they also seemed to manoeuvre in relation to each other and to me along these power lines. The stunning thing from then on, was how obvious they are and how blind I’d been to the obvious, before. At the same time I felt as though I’d been a complete fool and that everyone around me had ulterior and unpleasant motives. No one seemed to act out of love, charity, or trust and probably no one would ever do so again, now that I’d realised this.